Dating is a pickle! You might have heard this phrase at least once in your lifetime.
Nowadays, it is getting more and more difficult to just put yourself out there. No matter if you are a woman or a man, Dating is not easy. Period. You must have wondered if you are just unlucky when you see your friends dating someone who is almost perfect. Generally, in developed societies like North America, dating is how people shed their single status and become a couple.
But, sometimes women try to find a deeper & hidden meaning within the holistic concept of dating. They try to find a connection. Simply, getting a match on Tinder is not their only goal. Deep, meaningful dates are what the women seek. Hence, where casual flings might be a piece of cake for some women. The same cannot be said for serious dating which can turn into serious relationships (if women want). This is because, those early days of getting to know someone are tough, you have to figure out if you like the man you are dating, how much you like him, and what do you want from him?
Thus, simply being on an app doesn’t mean a woman is ‘dating-minded’. Women are cautious when they date. They get jittery too. Whether a woman is going on her first date or whether she is an experienced dater, she is going to need some or the other advice to make herself confident when she meets the man of her dreams. Hence, a bit of advice is recommended.
Indeed, the best dating tips often come from the ones who are the closest to us like family members and friends, because it takes a long time to learn the most valuable lessons in love.
If you are dating for the first time then you’ll need as much confidence as possible, and you’ll definitely need some advice. So here are Top 18 Fundamental Relationship Advice for Women.
1. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there
First and foremost, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. The worst that could happen is that the other person is not interested, but if you don't ask you will never know. My current relationship is a testament to putting yourself out there and being willing to be vulnerable. I used to wonder about the what-ifs, until I forced myself to ask those scary questions and fight for what I want and love.
2. First Dates Are Bound To Be A Bit Awkward
If you're often caught wondering just how to break the ice on a first date. Maybe it's going swimmingly: You hit it off again and can barely pause your convo to order food. Or maybe your waiter coming over to see if you're ready to order was a life preserver, since you two were drowning in painful silences and stilted small talk. "Don't let the awkwardness of a first date deter you they're meant to be somewhat messy!” Even as a dating coach, when I'm first meeting someone I'll often say, 'Ah, I have to be honest, these first dates can be a little tough for me!'" Artschwager explains.
Eventually your whole self will emerge and you still be facing rejection or you’ll spend the rest of your interactions with this person suppressing parts of your personality and walking on eggshells. Abandoning aspects of your persona to attract someone else is a disservice to yourself and the relationship. It is unauthentic and won’t be sustainable. If you two are a good fit, that won't be derailed by 30 seconds of staring at each other and fiddling with silverware.
3. Always be yourself
First and foremost, it is important to be who you are. Even if you are weird or unique you shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself. If the person you are meeting is right for you then you will instantly connect with him. If you have any insecurities about yourself then you should try to fix them. You should always look your best and put your best dress on as well. You never know when you may bump into your dream guy.
4. Find Out More About Them As A Person
You can start having a nice conversation by asking your date questions. Women shouldn’t just start assuming things when they are just beginning to date. It’s always better to clear the air regarding anything that might be bothering you about your partner. You don't just have to stick to asking about the present. You can also ask questions about their past and the future that you might have with them, which in turn, helps you get to know your date better. You should allow yourself to get a deeper understanding of your date’s personality. People enjoy talking about themselves, as it’s a topic they know so much about. Some easy go-to questions are:
- Describe yourself in about three words?
- When the last time you laughed until tears was came out from your eyes?
But there are lots of thought-provoking questions you can ask on a date if your conversation is in bad shape and you need an extra special conversational rescue. Some good ones include:
- What's on your bucket list?
- What's something you can't let your parents know about you?
- Who would play you in a movie?
- What can you eat an entire carton of?
You can even ask your date a few sex and dating questions, only if you feel comfortable, like:
- How far back have you scrolled through my Instagram?
- What's the best and worst kiss you've ever had?
- Who's your celebrity crush?
Dating Coach Clara Artschwager says that this is what she leads with. "I'll ask about anything: why they ordered a particular drink, the story behind their tattoo, what they did today. I just try to get someone talking. Next to keeping the questions open-ended, the main bit of advice here is that do not treat the date like an interview. Don't think too hard about your answers to these questions either, in the event your date poses them to you, too. You should try to be spontaneous as well. Having pre-thought-out responses may lead to you to come off as disingenuous and robotic.
5. Stop trying to not be single
The best thing you can do is to be honest about what you want. It's a lesson you would've learned by going through too many dates where you would’ve tried to make yourself into what someone else wanted. Doing that never leads to a satisfying relationship. So you should stop trying to not be single and start trying to find someone who you actually (and happily) want to spend time with.
6. Never fall in love on your first date
Women should remember that their first date may exactly go as they thought, well planned and blissful. Women may start having butterflies in their stomach, feeling like the whole world has stopped and it is only you and your partner under rose petals, but stop to remember that it is common for everyone to behave well on their first date and nobody is perfect.
7. Never overreact
Just be calm and chilled up, enjoy the present it’s just a date. Do not laugh out loud if you usually don’t do that just laugh normally. If you’re too nervous and anxious about how to react or continue a conversation with him then just frankly tell him/her about your problem, don’t put up a fake show. Being frank and open with your partner will make you feel better. Dr. Joshua Klapow, a clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, agrees. "You shouldn't have to over-flirt to grab the attention of someone you like," he further adds.
8. Be his shoulder to lean on
Dr. Tessina says that sometimes you have to match your date’s expectations. "If they brush your knee with their knee, try returning the action or touching your foot to their foot.” If it happens again, try leaving your knee touching theirs and see if they pull away. If they do, then follow their lead and pull back slightly." If you are dating a man, as macho as he seems, he’s almost always a child who needs a woman’s love to give him emotional strength. Since women are emotionally stronger than men, women shouldn’t mind comforting their partners, if the need arises.
9. Always be honest about yourself
Be honest about your expectations and don't compromise them. Sure, you want to impress each other, but honesty from the start is a prerequisite to trust, says psychotherapist, Dr. Jennifer Freed. “If you’re real, you’ll get real results. The reason breakups happen is because that person has not met your expectations, and eventually, it leads to unhappiness.
If your past relationship has left a deep wound in your heart then you may not want to date and start all over again, you may feel tired and exhausted from the dating life. Mostly, in this case, it’s the women all over who face such problems and pressures like the pressure of family and society to get married once you have crossed a certain age. Staying lonely without a special someone is indeed tough but what’s more heartbreaking and tough is when you forcefully stay with a person without any feelings exchanged just to make your parents happy and fit in the society. This is a complex one but necessary to surviving in a rapid dating world, says sex and relationship expert, Dr. Nikki Goldstein.
10. Don’t be needy at all
But it's pretty clear that the person you're dating doesn't want a relationship, then you wait. Sure, it's nice to have someone handy around to help around the apartment or wash your car, or just Netflix and Chill, but be careful that you're not sending out the wrong signals. Show your special someone you're an independent person.
11. Don’t Get Hung Up
There might be some people out there who won’t be interested in you. If a person who doesn't want to commit right now may not ever be willing to commit at least not to you. You had an amazing first date but now it's complete silence on your end. Try not to get too hung up if your date wants to take it slow or if it didn't work out. Well, let’s face it. Be realistic, but optimistic at the same time. Chalk your bad dates as experiences, and look forward to a new potential and a new day in your exciting and adventurous life!
12. Don’t compare
You should never search for your old relationship while starting a new one, and don’t go looking for your ex’s qualities in your present lover. Don’t look for similarities, this way you might end up finding someone who’s exactly like your ex, and that may not really work in your favor. “What are those three things that are not negotiable when you’re looking for a relationship?” asked relationship expert Dr. Melanie Mills. “Try not to include physical or financial attributes. Focus on character traits, personality type, and value systems.”
13. Be the date that you want to have
You both have a responsibility to make your date perfect. “Engage in dialogue. Put the cell phone away. Be attentive. Ask questions. Don’t bring up your ex. Take an interest in the details of his life by listening, paraphrasing, and engaging. Many researches point out to the fact playing too much hard-to-get makes others like you less.
14. Your Mr. Perfect
Don’t build blockades in your mind which tells you to block everyone other than the ones that fit your idea of a perfect man. Remember, you’re looking for someone to spend your life with, it takes more than a trial and error approach to really understand the constituents of a perfect life, for the present and the future.
15. Take your chances
Life always gives you a second chance so you should definitely take your chances regarding when to start dating. Starting a new relationship can be difficult, especially after a failed one. It's hard to let someone love you again especially if you've been hurt before, but you have to take a chance and move on.
16. Always trust Your Intuition
Your inner intuition can sometimes be your best friend, so never ignore the inner feeling that tells you something is not right about the seemingly cool guy you just met. Always keep your eyes open and listen to what your gut tells you.
17. Remember that dating can be an exploration
“Dating should be fun and nothing more than a way to meet and get to know another person, who may or may not be fit to share your life with you. Dating is not a commitment. There is no obligation involved with dating. No one owes anyone anything ever” says Freed.” It’s easy to get excited about someone and start planning your future together, but remember that you’re both just figuring out if you even like each other first.”
18. Relax and smile
Finally, if you feel the need to be in control at all times, try to remember to go with the flow. Men can instinctively recognize a girl who is stress-free. So the happier you are and the more you’ll laugh and enjoy, the greater the odds of locking eyes with the perfect, awesome guy that so many girls desire. If you're on the edge all the time, you may come off as being too uptight. This might seem simple, but everyone loves it when they see a woman smile. Do it often, and be sincere. Also, lastly if you can - Split the bill. Rest assured, your partner will like that. Hence, these are the 18 tips that are going to guide you through the dating realm.